the first week post-layoff was a strange time indeed. a plethora of emotions from bewilderment and shock to relief and glee, i had a challenging time gathering my wits about me, attempting to figure out what my next courses of actions should be, what order vague ideas should be pursued, who i should talk to, how i should be feeling.
being very aware that i was not the most ’stable’ with my emotions, i knew i should not undertake anything too fantastic. i would take it easy. no rash actions or decisions.
the healing mode
first, relax. accept that a bit of time would be needed to get used to the idea that a big part of my life/lifestyle/schedule had changed: my 40+/- hour a week job. +/- 5-6 hours a week spent commuting. +/- 5-8 hours a week spent getting ready to leave for work, preparing lunch, eating lunch, filling up for gas, decompressing after work. 50-60 hours a week total dedicated to work-related activities out of my 80 +/- waking hours monday through friday.
this was a big change indeed. i’m not the best at quickly adapting to changes in my environment/lifestyle. so i took deep breaths and prepared my mind and body to relax and to try to just ‘be’.
second, have discussions. talk with the SO about my thoughts on the turn of events when i felt moved to do so. slowly prepare myself to share the news with friends and family and others as needed.
also, be open, honest, and most importantly, gentle with myself. there was no need to feel too badly — it was only a job, a source of money, not like i was dying or lost someone important to me or something else catastrophic. if i were to take at face value (’if’) the information my manager had given me as to why i was chosen to get laid off, then it was not personal, but only business. it was not necessarily a reflection of my character, i was not a terrible person, i was just no longer affordable by this particular company. another job could be found, not all businesses were necessarily in the same financial state as my ex-employer. sources of money could be had by other means.
i also assessed and appreciated my circumstances outside of work. one of the reasons i did not need to feel overly despondent about my work situation was because my home life was going relatively well: i live with a loving significant other sharing our lives together happily, he had a stable occupation with a good income, he could help me for a while until my work situation changed, we had an awesome home to live in with the ability to (for then) pay rent/mortgage (especially since we also had 2 roommates to help us with this for the time being), i had my health, friends and family to talk to, and finally a fairly attractive career background/experience and desirable skillset within my industry.
the vacation mode
generally, the average working individual might receive somewhere between 1-3 weeks of paid vacation time a year from his/her employer. as a result, one’s vacation time may be limited. due to my turn of events, this means that until i figured things out or got a new job full time, i could perceive my time off as ‘vacation time’ as long as it was affordable. i could work on or wrap up some personal or other projects i had been meaning to do with my newly founded spare time! i could relax and goof off! this was a positive way of looking at the current situation.
reaching out to network mode
i am generally not the best at consistently keeping up with my career networks (or personal relationships). as a result, i thought, what better time than now to make the extra effort?
the day of my layoff, i immediately did two things:
- post a message on an all-women programming community bulletin board that i was available for freelancing work.
- e-mail a colleague that i would be available full time moving forward for contracting work (due to previous business related discussions pre-layoff).
those two actions would let me feel better over the weekend that i was proactive and did something — even small — to elevate a ‘downtrodden’ situation and disposition a bit.
after i had been laid off and came out of my shock a bit, i immediately processed my desire and memory of wishing to fulfill a freelancing dream. what better way than to grab the current opportunity and go with the flow? take advantage of the situation? perceive the turn of events as a sign, as the universe working to help me? it was up to me to see this and to take hold of it right away.
i would allow myself at least a week beyond the first’ weekend of recovery’ to have a mini-vacation in order to relax and to casually consider my options moving forward. i would not stress out, i would be optimistic and realistic and move forward gratefully. i would prepare myself to be ready to move forward doing whatever i would decide to do after the first week of rest and relaxation.
in the end, things went fairly well. there were a few moments of relapse when i re-realized my situation and felt dejected for a few minutes or so, but overall i remained calm and was content. sometime when i arrived home after getting laid off, i cried a bit from the stress/surprise/anxiety. i then immediately filed for unemployment online. i wrote to/talked with a few friends about the situation starting the monday that followed.
highlights of the week included:
- sleeping a lot
- crocheting a lot
- vegetating a lot
- dreaming about future career plans a bit
- .. did i mention sleeping a lot?
it was a much-needed relaxing sick/vacation week indeed that i put to good use.







